<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Darling, I'm Right Here by Fried_frogs</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24708532">Darling, I'm Right Here</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fried_frogs/pseuds/Fried_frogs'>Fried_frogs</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>CM, Criminal Minds (US)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bi-Curiosity, Bisexual, Coma, Cute, Dilaudid, Established Relationship, F/M, Hospital, Love, More tags to be added, Picnic, Reader-Insert, Romance, bisexual reader, date, therapist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:42:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,280</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24708532</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fried_frogs/pseuds/Fried_frogs</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Y/N is part of the BAU as a in house "therapist" and sometimes works in the field. Spencer  gets kidnapped by Tobias Hankle. Y/N finds out Spencer became addicted to the drugs Tobias gave him. Will this separate their relationship or bring them closer? </p><p> </p><p>This is Finished as of July, 16, 2020 </p><p>This is also posted on my wattpad account GabrielHasLollipops</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Spencer Reid/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I put my Kevlar vest on, strapped my gun on my holster and headed to the black SUV. The rest of the team members dispersed themselves in the cars, and we headed to where Spencer was being held. I pushed my nerves down and focused on helping Spencer. Being the designated counselor/therapist and occasionally going in the field was not just physically tolling but mentally. But you had to be there, yes for your job but also for your family, not your biological family obviously. After, a painfully long 30-minute ride you arrived at the property.</p><p>You stood behind Derek using his body as a shield. Almost immediately as you arrived at the door that led to the inside of the cabin the door fell to the floor. You rushed inside but yelled 'Clear' once you realized there was no one was there you walked out.</p><p>"Where's the cemetery?" You followed Hotch outside and began the trek to the cemetery. A loud gunshot echoed throughout the quiet atmosphere. You picked up your pace and tried to find the source of the sound. Finally, you came upon Spencer kneeling over Tobias' body. He looked up and saw Hotch. And hugged him muttering something you couldn't hear. After, Spencer was done hugging everyone he wanted, they headed to the ambulance.</p><p>"Excuse me Dr. Reid if you'd like you can have 1 person joitn you on the ride to the hospital." Spencer whispered to him. You didn't bother to look who he picked. Just as you turned around you felt someone tap you on the shoulder. "Are you Y/N?" You slowly nodded and turned to see the young EMT, looking nervous. "Well Dr. Spencer Reid requested you ride with him." You began walking and he followed behind you. Spencer had already sat down on the bed in the middle if the ambulance.</p><p>"Spence are you okay?" I grabbed his hand and began to stroke it. He shook his head and I saw tears threatening to burst out. His bottom lip began to quiver, I noticed and rubbed his back. "Let it all out." Spencer stuffed his face in his hands. The only thing you could do was try my best to comfort him. It was a fairly short ride to the nearest hospital. But you held your hands in his the whole time. Right now you were less of a coworker and more of a friend. And as a friend it was hard to see him like this, his face was red and blotchy.</p><p>A few hours later after many tests, questions, and more crying. Spencer was given his own room. The team visited him coming in and out. You felt bad leaving so you stationed yourself in a chair next to his bed. It was almost 3 in the morning. Spencer was finally asleep and your eyelids became heavier and heavier. You heard whimpering by your side. He had tears rolling down his already tear stained cheeks. His hands were clammy and hot but you didn't care. Spencer stopped crying, you placed your face on his mattress. Finding yourself in a uncomfortable position but enjoying the comfort in the warmth radiating off him. Your hand was still placed on his when you fell asleep.</p><p>Darkness engulfed you as you left the real world and entered your nightmares.</p><p>"Y/N Y/N wake up" You felt hands shake your shoulders. Once you opened your eyes you were met with Spencer. Warmth crawled up to your cheeks and you pulled away from him. "Good Morin'." You gave him a small smile. He gave you back a forced smile.</p><p>"How are you feeling today?" Your hands found his and his eyes averted to the floor. "Uh I'm ok. But the hospital said I was clear to go home. Also, you kinda slept through most of the day." Your eyebrows furrowed together. Not giving any thought that it was about 8:00 pm. His eyes were still trained on the floor.</p><p>"Wow really? Isn't that a little early?" He shrugged and let go of your hand. You turned and grabbed your small purse that held very few belongings. "Well thanks for helping me..." You smiled at him and gave him a quick side hug. He left in front of you and you both headed to the front door. He looked around the street looking for someone or something to take him home.</p><p>"Spence do you need a ride home? I asked Derek to drop off my car last night." He nodded and you saw red creeping up his face. You bit your lip and intertwined your arm with his. Leading him to your small gray car. You unlocked the door and giggled when he hit his head. Spencer gave you a playful shove. "So where we going?" He gave me his address and you gasped.</p><p>"No shit I live in that apartment building!" He looked at you surprised but shrugged it off. After a long awkward drive of you humming to the classical music your favorite radio station played, we arrived at the apartment building you parked in your assigned space, and we both headed to the front door. He held the door open for you and you began your trek up the stairs. After the first floor he was still behind you. You turned to look at him and gave him a sly smirk. "You following me or what?" He vigorously shook his head and his cheeks blushed. Finally, you reached the second floor. You opened the door and held it open to see if Spencer came in. And to your surprise he did!</p><p>You got your keys out and looked to your side watching him enter into apartment #23. "Well Spence have a goodnight." He muttered a barely audible 'you too'. You entered your apartment, #24, which obviously, was next to Spencer's. You immediately took a warm shower and changed into to your pajamas which consisted of a long t-shirt and some small shorts. Plopping onto your bed you enjoyed the comfort your warm sheets gave you, but you reached to your nightstand and set your alarm to 9:00. Usually you woke up earlier but Hotch told everyone it was ok to come a little late. Except Spencer of course, he was to be on leave for at least 3 weeks. And then you had to evaluate him and watch over him which means no field work for a couple of weeks which had its pros and cons. Your eyes shut and you were asleep in no time. Sure it may have been a little early to go to bed but you were too tired to even care.</p><p>Screams, but this time it was in the real world not in your dreams. You shot up and looked around your room. But there was no one there. You sighed and plopped back down. It was 1 am, too late to investigate and bother the neighbors. The screaming turned into loud whimpers. You wondered why you could hear it so well, was someone on your balcony? You turned on your lights but saw no one there. Shit Spencer, you debated if you should knock on his door or leave him be. You decided on the latter. The thin walls made it impossible to not hear him. Almost an hour later the whimpering stopped. You went back to sleep feeling bad that you didn't help him but you would have probably regretted knocking on his door.</p><p>Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep</p><p>You turned off the alarm and forced yourself to get ready. The first thing you did was take a warm shower which helped loosen your muscles. You quickly put on a pant suit trying your best to look good but not break the FBI's dress code. Your makeup was minimal just some waterproof mascara, in case after one of your sessions you had to cry, and some lip gloss. Tea and toast was all you had to eat knowing you'll just grab some snacks at the office. You made your way out of your door. You turned to your right and saw Spencer also leaving.</p><p>"Where are you going Spence?" He rolled his eyes and locked his door. Then turned to you. "None of your business." He stomped away and went into the elevator. You sighed but knew he was going through a lot right now. He had to come in for a pre-evaluation. Just to see where he was. But that wasn't till around 3:00 pm.</p><p>After walking down the stairs and driving to headquarters you had arrived just in time. You went into your office that you were given to help counsel the team members in private. It was decorated very cheerily. Penelope helped decorate it saying "It will help the vibe". And to be honest it did. You felt the team members were more inclined to be comfortable around you when they felt comfortable. Though you weren't supposed to install shelves, have a ton of frames on the wall, even more guidelines Hotch understood why and had your back.</p><p>You only had one appointment today with Spencer but had a ton of paperwork. To be quite honest you were scared. His mood didn't seem to be the best and you were scared that he had gotten addicted to the diludad Tobis gave him. Though the doctors said he should be fine, but you didn't really believe them.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was time. TIme for Spencer to talk to you. When he got here he seemed twitchy and nervous. You saw him through your blinds and quickly sat at your desk. His favorite candle was set out on the small side table that was next to the couch. After a couple years of working there you had found out he loved fall scents. You heard soft knocks coming from behind your door. "Come in"</p><p>"Hi Spencer go ahead and sit down wherever you'd like." He chose to sit on the couch. "Can you turn that off." He nodded towards the candle. Your eyebrows furrowed but you blew it out.</p><p>"Ok, let's get started. Why don't you start with..." It had been at least an 1 hour and a half. He shed a tear once. You thought it was strange that he didn't cry knowing that he had always cried in your office if you were talking about a heavy case. Of course people cope differently but you were still concerned.</p><p>It was around 4:50 when he left. You had filled 3 pages of notes, and you have small writing so that's saying something. Though you had other things to do than just worry about Spencer. A small stack of even more paperwork was due by 6:00 pm. After finishing the paperwork you were no longer needed and you were tired. So you left and headed home.</p><p>Traffic wasn't as bad as it was when it was the middle of rush hour but it was definitely bad. When you got home you immediately went into the shower. After a long warm shower you made dinner. Just some leftover baked mac and cheese from a couple days ago. You were done with pretty much everything so you sat down on your couch and watched some movies. It was almost 11 pm so you decided it was time to go to bed. With your regular night routine it was 11 pm when you got in bed. Once again you found comfort in your warm sheets. Not thinking about work because if you did you wouldn't be able to sleep.</p><p>"PLEASE" It was at 2 weeks since you last saw Spencer. He had missed an appointment he had with you yesterday. And the screaming never stopped. Whimpering and crying was what you heard when you were trying to go to sleep. Tonight was the worst it had ever been. Screaming was all you heard for an hour. Maybe you were being "nosy" but enough was enough. You put on some shoes and walked over to his apartment. "Spence can you open up for me." Knocking wasn't working so you tried to talk to him. After what felt like 10 minutes of standing outside his door he opened up. Your eyes almost went wide but you stayed calm. His hair was mangled, his eyes had the heaviest bags you'd ever seen, and worst of all his face was tear stained and unshaven. Spencer looked almost unrecognizable. When he realized you were at his door he tried to shut it. Quickly you placed your foot between the door and the door frame. And gave him a 'really?' look.</p><p>He sighed and opened the door. His place was messy, wrappers here and there, no dishes were done, and she could spot 5 beer bottles. Spencer never drank. You saw him sit down on the couch. After you were done giving everything a quick look you sat next to him but not to close.</p><p>"Did you need something?" His voice was small and helpless. Sure Spencer didn't have the most serious of tones but he seemed very childlike. Not in the happy and cute type of way but the small and helpless type of way. "No, I'm good and if you really want me to go I can. But I need to talk to you about the nightmares... I know you can't control it. Though I can't help but here you struggling." His eyebrows furrowed and his head tilted.</p><p>"I hear you screaming. At night. And crying and whimpering and punching stuff during the day." He slowly nodded. Realizing the whole building could probably hear him. "I'm sorry" You shook your head. "Don't be. It's not the noise that bothers me. It's that your hurt and aren't talking to anyone." His head was focused on the floor. You put your hand on his back.</p><p>"I just... feel so lost. And hurt and alone." His last word was small, a whisper at best. He began crying. "I know. But if you need help and I know you do, I'm right next door. Ok? I don't mind you waking me up at 4 am. It's better than having to worry that when you're silent you're dead or something." Spencer's face turned to yours. You scooted closer and hugged him. Your free hand caressed his back and the other in his hair. His tears puddled on you shirt. But not much later he stopped. His face was still and his eyes shut, he fell asleep. You debated if you should wake him up. But decided against it. His face was against your shoulder but it was uncomfortable for you. You placed a pillow on your lap and moved him on to it. Your hands were holding him and your head found the top of the couch. Sure it wasn't that ideal but it was semi-comfortable.</p><p>The sun went through the blinds interrupting the best sleep you've had in a while. Spencer was still sleeping but I glanced at the clock on the wall. "Spencer wake up. I have to go." He stirred awake and shot up with a violently red face. "S-sorry" Spencer looked away and adjusted his hair. "Don't apologize. I want to be here with you. But I don't wanna be late." He nodded and muttered something. "What was that?" Did he even say anything?</p><p>"Uh can I go with you... To work I don't want to sit around my apartment all day." You shrugged. "I guess. Let me go get ready. I'll be back in like 10 minutes." Immediately you quite literally ran to your apartment. Quickly you changed into the outfit you laid out the night before. Your purse was on your counter, you grabbed it then walked out. Locking your door then walking a few feet over to knock on Spence's door. There he was in all his glory, dressed in his usual work outfit and surprisingly he shaved. You gave him a smile than grabbed his hand, dragging him to your car.</p><p>You were late by 10 minutes. Sure it wasn't super long but with a job like yours being late wasn't good. Thankfully Hotch wasn't mad. But you did have a case. Though you were staying here with Penelope. Hotch let Spencer stay, since it was almost time for him to be back anyways. Penny filled you in while you made yourself some tea. Spencer was quick to join you and make himself coffee.</p><p>"Ok. So the Unsub has been sending tongues to these men. Who have no apparent connection other than being a man and living in the same city." You sat on one of Penny's extra chairs and Spencer scooted next to you. "Do we know the victims?" Penny nodded and pulled up pictures of 3 women.</p><p>"They all lived low risk lifestyles. No mention of past convictions and... Oh finally something! Let's call the team." She pressed a button and they appeared on the screen. "Hey Pretty Boy nice to see you up and running." Spencer gave him a small smile.</p><p>"All these girls worked for or with the men the tongues were sent to. Marlene Johnston was a waitress at Thomas Riley's restaurant. Alina Fitz worked with Bill Hindley. And last but not least Angela Harrison was a maid at Reagan Cole's hotel. All the girls were fired under suspicious circumstances." Spencer's knee started bouncing. The team nodded, they said their goodbyes and hung up. You placed your hand on his knee and it stopped.</p><p>It had been at least 6 hours since you arrived. You had a couple suspects and theories but nothing concrete. But you still had paperwork. No matter if you worked on paperwork for a whole day there would be more.</p><p>"I'm gonna head to my office call me if you need anything." The dark room and bright computer screens were straining your eyes. A break from the case was needed. You noticed Spencer get up with you. He probably needs a break too.</p><p>Your blinds and windows were open. The light gave you a small headache. Spencer layed down on the couch. You noticed he was struggling to keep still. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom." He said it so suddenly it startled you. Your head nodded and you went back to the stack of files on your desk.</p><p>It had been almost 30 minutes. Sure it wasn't any of your business. But you got up and walked to the bathrooms closest to your office. "Spence are you okay?" You heard sniffling and whimpering. WIthout thinking much that you were going into a men's bathroom, you walked in. The noise was coming from the furthest stall. Rushing over to it and softly knocking. "Spencer it's me."</p><p>There you were, on the bathroom floor. 6 minutes had passed. Enough was enough. The stall was, thankfully, open. In the corner was Spencer with a needle in his hand. "Spencer stop it. Drop it right now." His face turned to yours. It was red and he looked miserable. The needle rolled out of his hand and onto the floor. "Good job Spence. Is it ok if I hug you?" He nodded and you rushed to him, kicking the needle away. His tears were more pertinent and so was his sniffling. Spencer's head was in the crook of your neck, his legs wrapped around your waist and his hands around your neck. Even though he was taller than you, in your arms he seemed like a small child.</p><p>You sat there with him for a while. Caressing his back, wiping his tears away, and giving him the occasional peck on the forehead. It was evident that he had no more tears left to cry. You told him to go wait for him outside the stall. The needle was hard to dispose of. Weirdly enough you had a tampon in your pocket and you threw it in the trash can. "Spencer come here." He was leaning on the wall. You needed to check for more needles. Thankfully there were none left.</p><p>You led him to your office. "I'll be right back okay. I'm gonna go tell Penelope were healing out." He nodded and sat on the couch. Spencer blushed when you gave him a peck on his forehead. Once you were out of hearing distance you pulled out you phone and called Hotch. You hated to 'Snitch' but Spencer needs help.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Hello?" Hotch's familiar voice spoke through the phone.</p><p>"Aaron we have a problem. Like a really really bad one." You were used to calling him Aaron. You weren't particularly super close but he was still like a dad to you.</p><p>"Is it Spencer?" You nodded even though he couldn't see you.</p><p>"I think he's addicted to dilaudid... I caught him trying to inject himself earlier.  Aaron I don't know what to do. If we tell the director they'll fire him and he needs rehab of some kind. I just don't know." Your eyes teared up and you started pacing. He was silent for a moment but spoke up.</p><p>"You live next to him. RIght?" You gave him a small 'mmhmm'.</p><p>"For now and I know I'm asking a lot but can you watch over him. And try to get him into some type of rehab." You grabbed the bridge of your nose. It was a lot.</p><p>"I may be a licensed therapist but I don't know if I can do that." You debate in your head. Aaron didn't reply knowing you were debating in your head.</p><p>"Ok. I'll try. We're gonna head home. I'll call you soon."</p><p>"Thank you Y/N." You exchanged goodbyes and you headed back to your office. Spencer was sleeping, he had his head on the arm of the couch and his legs were cramped. Your hand found his face and caressed it. "Spencer wake up hun. I told Penny were heading out early." He stirred awake and leaned into your hand. You smiled and pulled him up. Spencer groaned and wrapped his arms around you.</p><p>"Spence you're like a foot taller than me I can't carry you." You giggled and he finally got up. His bag was next to your feet and you grabbed it. "Come on." Your hand reached up and ruffled his hair. He lightly shoved you and once you got to the stairs you raced him. Sure it was kinda immature but it was fun. "This isn't fair your legs are longer than mine." He beat you to your car.</p><p>You got in your car and so did he. Like always traffic was bad. But it was even worse with Spencer, you loved his company but you were silent. What were you supposed to talk about? Hey stop doing drugs?</p><p>Finally you arrived at your apartment. He followed you in and sat at your couch. You found your place next to him. Your hands were placed on his. "So, I'm sorry if I breached your trust but I told Hotch." He nodded and looked down. "He's not gonna fire you don't worry. But he wants me to watch over you till you're better. And I was thinking I could stay in your apartment or you can just call me over when you need me." He muttered a small yeah. You saw his eyes tearing up.</p><p>"Its ok Spencer. It's not your fault. I'll help you through this ok." You caressed his head and hugged him. After he calmed down you pulled away from him. "I'm gonna get my to go bag and we can head over to your place." You kissed his forehead and went to your closet. Pulling a small duffle bag out. It had everything you needed, including toiletries, clothes, and all of your tech stuff.</p><p>"Come on Spence let's dash and crash." You winked at him and he rolled his eyes. HIs arm intertwined with yours and you led him. It wasn't much of a walk but you made sure he knew you were with him.</p><p>Spencer opened the door and you walked in. "So i'll take the couch and I shower at night." You put your bag next to the couch and pulled out your array of tea bags. Spencer gave you a weird look. "Hey don't look at me like that. Like you don't drink 20 cups of coffee a day." He sat next to you and grabbed your hand. Why was he holding your hand all the sudden? Not that you mind.</p><p>"Thank you. It sounds weird but I'm glad you found me." You pulled him closer and just held him. Maybe you were overstepping your boundaries but it's what he needs. "Don't thank me. I want to be here." He nodded and pulled away. "So whats for dinner?" Spencer spoke with a small smirk on his face. "I'm here to help you but I'm not your maid." You have him sass and flipped your hair. He chuckled and so did you.</p><p>"Maybe pizza?" You rolled your eyes and pointed to the various take out boxes around the apartment. "How long has it been since you had a real meal?" He shrugged and looked to the ceiling as if he was thinking. "I'll be making you some... shrimp scampi." You looked at what he had in his pantry.</p><p>"Go clean or something don't just stand there." He groaned and gave you a smile. Spencer walked out and you began to cook. But you made sure to keep a close eye on him. You weren't sure if he had any dilaud here.</p><p>After you were done you prepared 2 plates. "Spence dinner is served." You gave him a small bow. He chuckled and you began eating. There wasn't much talking but it wasn't entirely awkward.</p><p>You had watched a dumb movie with him. The both of you didn't pay much attention to it but you were rather commenting on the bad acting and weird plot. You took a quick shower after the movie was done and got ready for bed. Finally you plopped on the couch and watched Spencer as he also got ready. He wore some basketball shorts and a baggy t shirt. You kinda liked his casual look.</p><p>"Well I'll be right out here if you need me. And keep your door unlocked just in case." Your voice turned serious. It was fun to be with him but you here for a reason. To help him. He nodded and gave you a hug goodbye. True to his promise he left his bedroom door slightly cracked open. The couch was surprisingly comfortable, especially with the unbelievably soft blanket Spencer gave you.</p><p>You had fallen quick asleep. But as quick as you fell asleep you quickly woke up. Spencer was screaming but less blood curdling and more of a whimper. You got up and walked to his room. He was tangled in his sheets and was noticeably sweating. The bed dipped under your weight as you lightly shook his shoulder. "Spence wake up hun. It's just a dream." His body unconsciously wrapped around yours, his head buried in your chest. Your hands found his back and his hair, stroking both trying to comfort him. You laid him down and tried to pull away.</p><p>"Please don't go." You could barely hear him but you luckily did. He went back to the position you two were in just moments ago. "I won't. I'm right here." His whimpers completely stopped and his body relaxed. Your head found his soft pillows and you shut your eyes once more.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Y/N Y/N wake up." You shot up and saw him shaking. Your hand wrapped around his body and you caressed his hair. Which seemed to be his favorite comforting thing. "You're ok darling. I'm right here. Hey Spence look at me." You grabbed his face and turned his face to yours. His beautiful eyes found yours. Your breath hitched and he began blushing. Spencer leaned towards you. You leaned towards him. Your lips met, his arms tightened around you, your lips synchronized with his. After a few moments your lips trailed over his jaw.</p><p>Once you reached his neck he leaned back and gave you a small moan. You smiled against his skin. He pulled away, sliding away from you. "I-I'm sorry." A sigh left your mouth and your hand found his knee. "Don't be, I'm not gonna force you into this if you don't want it." His hand found yours. "I do I really do. I jus-"</p><p>"Spencer you don't have to explain really. I care about you. And if you don't want us-" You pointed between the two of you."to happen right now or ever I can live with that." Sighing you layed back down and patted the space next to you. Spencer layed down and cuddled with you. His face was cuddled into your chest. You couldn't sleep, you were thinking about what happened, did you just ruin your relationship with him. Thankfully it wasn't long before the sun came up. You pulled away from and began your morning routine. After you were done Spencer was still asleep. So you decided to make breakfast.</p><p>You felt hands wrap around you and were so startled you almost punched him. Spencer chuckled and placed his head on your shoulder. "You're an asshole you know that right." He chuckled and you could feel him smiling. The bacon gave a small pop and Spencer jumped. He gave a small whimper and hid behind your hair. "It's ok it's just the bacon." You turned in his arms and hugged him. Before you turned you gave him a small peck on the cheek. Finally you were done with cooking, Spencer helped set up the table and made the both of you tea. "I'm surprised you're not on your second cup off coffee already." He groaned and shook his head. "I wish." Once you both were done with eating you cleaned up.</p><p>"So, what are we gonna do today?" You leaned against the counter while Spencer stood in front of you. "Maybe we can go to the park? Have a little picnic da-" He stopped himself before he said the last word. You nodded your hair and looked at the clock. "Shoot I have to call Hotch." You pulled out your phone and walked to the bathroom.</p><p>"Ok Hotch said I can take the day off and said to say 'the whole team is thinking about you we miss you.'" Spencer nodded and turned to the small closet in the corner. He pulled out what looked like a small picnic basket. "AH THAT'S SO CUTE." You rushed toward it and inspected it. He laughed at you and shook his head.</p><p>"What? It's perfect for our little picnic date." You didn't refrain from using the word. Making it clear what you wanted. Looking up to see Spencer's reaction you saw him blush and turn away. "U-um do you wanna go around 2 ish?" You nodded and placed the basket on the counter. "What should we do till then? Maybe do you wanna go to a museum or something?" He shrugged then said a quick yes. You smiled and told him you'd be right back.</p><p>You came back with a bottle of sunscreen and bug spray. He rolled his eyes and chuckled. "What? Jeez Spence." You signaled for him to spread his arms. He slightly yelped at the coldness of the spray. You put the sunscreen and bug spray on yourself. "Should we pack the picnic now or we can come back later?" Spencer spoke up. "I think later. The food will get hot and gross. Also I don't want to carry it all day." You made a disgusted face and Spencer giggled. Spencer grabbed some water bottles and tossed them in a small backpack. Grasping what he was trying to do you placed your wallet and the sunscreen in the bag.</p><p>It was almost two o'clock and you both decided to head back. The weather was pretty nice, with a light breeze and a beaming sun. After a while of walking back you finally arrived. You packed a lunch appropriate picnic. Not forgetting to grab a blanket. The both of you took a second to cool down and decide which park you were going to.</p><p>By the time you got to the park it was 2:30. You walked for a couple minutes and found a beautiful pond. Deciding to set up you laid out the blanket as Spencer took out the food. Finally you got to sit down on the soft blanket and enjoy the sandwich you had made. Once you were done with that you moved on to the grapes. You and Spencer began throwing the grapes at one another trying to catch it in your mouths. Spencer wasn't very good at it.</p><p>Your laughter died down and you laid back. Admiring the clouds that covered the sky. Spencer was right next to you, in fact your head was on his chest with his hands wrapped around your waist. There you were staring at the clouds cuddling with the man of your dreams. Once it was starting to get cloudy you raced to head back. Unfortunately the rain beat you before you back. Both of you were soaked. Once you arrived to his apartment you started laughing. "Spence you look like a rat." Spencer muttered a quick 'shut up' and rolled his eyes but you didn't miss the blush that crawled up his face. He turned around to take off his shirt and you took that as your chance to change yours. </p><p>"Hey Y/N wher-" You turned around and saw his shirt off. Your shirt was off too only wearing a bra on your upper half. He bit his lip and walked towards you. His hands found your waist and he leaned down towards your lips. He looked into your eyes asking for permission. You nodded and immediately found his lips. Moving in synchronization, all your love for him spilling out and turning into passion. Slowly you worked your way down his neck. Spencer's head tilted back. He let out a quick moan and moved his hands down your back. Spencer led you to the couch, you straddled his hips and continued kissing him.</p><p>Your lips were swollen and so were his. You reached back up to his face and peppered kisses on his face. His forehead leaned on yours. You tried to untangle yourself but he held onto you. "I like you Y/N like a lot." He muttered into your neck. "I like you to spencer like a lot." You winked, slightly teasing him, and placed your hands on his cheek. His eyes met yours. You began to caress his face and he leaned into your hand. His head was buried in the crook of your neck.</p><p>It wasn't to long till you were to make dinner. So you reluctantly pulled out of his embrace giving him a quick peck on the cheek. You pulled out the meat to start thawing and poured some hot water on it from the sink. Finally it was dinner time. But the time waiting was certainly not boring. You and Spencer cuddled on the couch having a light conversation, avoiding the topic of what had happened. Quickly you made up the steak and mashed potato dinner, also a small caesar salad on the side. Your dinner was quiet but not to awkward. Once you had finished you excused yourself to the bathroom. Since you had no plans on eating anymore you brushed your teeth and watched your face. Spencer was in the kitchen watching dishes. You quietly sat on one of the chairs. Your head was placed in your hands, slightly covering your face. He noticed this and you heard him stoop doing dishes.</p><p>"Y/N look if you don't want us it's fine." His face was slightly strained proving that he was lying. You weren't hired as a profiler but you weren't dumb. "Spence I want this I really do like a lot. But what will the team say. I could get fired you could get fired." Your arms wrapped around his waist and your head leaned on his stomach. "Let's try. Please. If Hotch or Strauss gets on about us. We can just stop. Neither of us has to quit." You nodded and let go of him. But you gave him a reassuring look telling him 'Yeah let's do this.', It wasn't to late but you were tired. Spencer walked away and what looked like his night routine begun. You sat on his bed and got under the covers. Maybe it was too early you're giving the wrong impression. But your back needed a break from the couch. Your eyelids became heavier and heavier. You felt the bed dip beside you. Spencer's long arms wrapped around your waist. And it was the first night since he was found that he made no noises when he slept.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s been two weeks since you and Spencer decided to officially date. Only Garcia, and Hotch knew. Hotch said if it doesn’t impact your work it was fine. And Garcia was so excited you almost thought she was gonna pass out. </p><p>You were returning to work today. Spencer looked ready to be alone for a couple of hours so the both of you decided you could work for today. It was early morning and you hesitantly woke up and got ready. When you were done you saw Spencer with his knees up to his chest. You walked up to him and pulled him in a hug. </p><p>“Spence you’re ok baby. If you need anything you call me. Even if you need help turning on the TV you call me.” He let out a small chuckle and pulled away. You pecked his lips and tried to let go but he pulled you back and deepened your kiss. Your teeth caught his lips as you pulled away, he let out a small groan once you let go. You noticed the time and made your way to the door. Spencer followed you holding your hand as you tried to leave. </p><p>“I’ll see you later Spence. Maybe I can stop by during lunch if I don’t have to much work.” He nodded and pulled you into a hug. You pecked his lips and pulled away. A small goodbye was exchanged between the two of you as you left. You made your way down the stairs and got in your car. Thankfully traffic wasn’t to bad so you got in the office a bit early. </p><p>The team asked you how Spencer was and you replied accordingly. You had missed a good amount of work and a ton of dreaded paperwork. Sadly you were still stacked with work by the time lunch break came around. You decided to call Spencer not only to say you couldn’t make it but to also check up on him. </p><p>You clicked on his contact and heard it ring. There you were waiting for him to pick up but after a couple of moments it went to voicemail. “Hey Spence, its Y/N I won’t be able to go home for lunch right now but i’ll see you in a couple of hours. Call me back when you can. See ya Spence.” Your happy demeanor immediately went away as you hung up. You were concerned. He probably just fell asleep or his ringer was off. </p><p>Time went incredibly slow as you waited to go home to Spencer. You were thinking of asking for a short day but found yourself feeling guilty for taking so much time off. But you threw yourself into your work and distracted yourself. Finally after a couple hours you realized that it was time to go. </p><p>You said your goodbyes to the team and scurried off. Since you got off around eight pm traffic wasn’t the worse. But you were still anxious to get home. Finally after twenty minutes you parked into the garage and hurried into the apartment. Sure you didn’t sprint but did a very quick walk. It felt like forever till you reached the front door. You softly knocked on the door and heard stomping. The door swung open and a drugged up looking Spencer opened the door. </p><p>“YOU LEFT ME.” His voice was louder than you’ve ever heard. You eyebrows scrunched and you took a deep breath. “Hey Spencer look at me for second okay?” Your voice went into your “therapist/childish voice” which could be seen as condescending but typically it calmed people down. His eyes met yours and you could see the underlying sadness in his eyes. “Remember we agreed that I could go to work. If you want me to stay for a little bit more without going into work I can ok.” You looked at him and tried to grab his arm. He pulled away and frowned. </p><p>“Y/N you don’t even care about me. You don’t love me you like the idea of me.” His voice broke at the end and he looked down. “Spencer look at me...  now. I love you more than anything. I can’t imagine living without you. Ok?” He shook his head. “You’re lying.” </p><p>“I’m not lying Spencer please. Get it through your thick skull. I love you so much and i know you won’t like this but I’m gonna go to my apartment. We’ll take a break for now. I love you I always will. I’m gonna be right next door. It’s what I need right now. But don’t let yourself think I don’t care about you.” He nodded and you quickly walked in and got your bag. You walked up to him and gave him a soft kiss. Reluctantly you pulled away. You could already feel the tears welling up in your eyes. Spencer’s eyes followed you and you could hear his door slam behind you. You entered your apartment and closed the door. </p><p>You tried to hold in your tears but they fell down your cheeks. Quickly you ran to your room and fell on your bed. ‘God this is so dumb.’ You thought to yourself as you realized the two of you got into a petty argument. But you only left because you felt he didn’t trust you, he didn’t understand how long you’ve loved him. You heard glass being thrown against the wall in Spencer’s apartment. Immediately you regretted what you did. You moved to the couch and tried to fall asleep there. Trying to further yourself from the noise.  But you quickly remembered to call Hotch and moved onto your porch. You explained what happened with crackles and sniffles in your voice. He tried his best to calm you down but he was never the best at things like that. You explained that you were still gonna work tomorrow but you would try to see if Spencer would come so he wasn’t alone all day. </p><p>You quickly fell asleep but it only felt like two seconds before you woke up. Your alarm went off and you dragged yourself to the shower. You were all ready but dreaded to go knock on Spencer’s door. Though you knew it needed to be done. Slowly you walked to his door and knocked. You heard rustling in the apartment and only moments later you saw a bloodshot blotchy faced Spencer. It reminded of you of the day you knocked on his door to check up on him. </p><p>“So um I wanted to take you to work with me today. Just so you’re not by yourself all day.” He sighed and pulled you in. Spencer led you to his couch. “I’m so sorry Y/n. I’m so so sorry I was being dumb and I was high an-” You pulled him into a hug. “I’ll tell you once and I won’t say it again. It’s ok. You were high and off your rocks. You didn’t mean that unless you did but otherwise I’m here with you. I’m not mad I’m just sad that you say I don’t love you when you’re the only person I’ve truly loved in years.” He melted into your body. "I didn't mean it. I just though someone as great as you could love someone like me." You stayed in silence trying to figure out what to say. </p><p>“Come on slow poke. Were gonna be late for work.” You broke the silence and he sat up and rushed to his room. After a couple minutes he walked out in his normal work attire and you headed out. His hand was in yours as you drove. You understood that argument was merely a result of his drugged up mind. And it brought out what he thought deep deep inside. That he didn’t think you loved him. You were frustrated but understood where he was coming from. </p><p>You hesitantly let go of his hand as you entered the building. The team was excited that he was back. Sadly they had a case so the “party” was over.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>how are you enjoying the story? Please feel free to give any criticism I actually welcome it. I hope you enjoy it so far!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been nearly a month. You and Spencer still weren’t dating as you were before but every chance you got you held hands and when you took him to work you kissed him. But you were yet to talk about getting seriously back together. You were out on a new case but Spencer was required to stay at Quantico. Garcia said he didn’t show up the day before but you had no choice but to stay and solve the case. Finally the team solved the case and you anxiously headed back to Quantico. It was super late and you had rushed a short report and headed to see Spencer. </p><p>Traffic just made you angrier and more anxious. Having to sit there with no power over how quickly you got there. You quickly ran up the stairs and knocked on the door. “Spencer it’s Y/N open up.” You stood there waiting for only a moment before you used the training Morgan gave you to open the door. He wasn’t in the living room so you ran to the bathroom. </p><p>“SPENCER.” You pulled out your phone and dialed 9-1-1. “I have an FBI agent down his name is Spencer Reid. My name is Y/N L/N. Please hurry. I’m starting chest compressions.” Immediately you began CPR. His still body moved as you tried to help using the best of your knowledge. The operator stayed on the line and helped you find the rhythm in your anxious state. What felt like forever you waited then the EMT’s barged in and you yelled to them that you were in the bathroom. They put him on a stretcher and began rushing him out. </p><p>You were frozen in place but snapped out of it and called the team. You were on the phone with them as you rushed to the ER. The team found you in the waiting room pacing. Garcia attacked you with a hug and you finally let it out. She understood how painful it was and why it was more painful for you. The team did their best to comfort you. You sat on the slightly itch couch leaning on Rossi as Garcia was next to you. </p><p>“Are any of you family?” You heard the doctor say and you shot up nearly falling down as the blood rushed to your head. “I’m his girlfriend.” Though you and Spencer haven’t talked about it. You didn’t even think about it when you said it. You saw confused faces but ignored them as the doctor pulled you to his room. </p><p>There he was, lying in the bed with his body still. Immediately you ran to his side and grabbed his hand. The doctor began speaking but you weren’t really listening. After awhile you heard the door close. But soon heard it open. The team filtered through and began asking questions. No one was really angry just confused. You answered in small yes and no’s and only spoke more when necessary. </p><p>Everyone slowly began leaving and you had to force Garcia to at least go eat or get some sleep. She eventually left and you were alone. You began to talk to him, though not really sure he could hear you. </p><p>“Spencer I am so sorry. I shouldn’t of left you. I was just so sad that you thought I didn’t love you. But you are my one and only. I can’t imagine living without you.” You would be crying if you hadn’t already cried yourself to out of tears. Something tightened around your hand. </p><p>“SPENCE.” His body began shaking and you ran out of the room and yelled for help. The doctors and nurses ran in and you were left outside of the room once again. It felt like hours before you were able to see him again. His body was attached to even more needles and machines. You once again were by his side. Grasping his hand and laying your head on his chest. Your eyes began to droop and you fell into a deep sleep.</p><p>“Y/N?” You immediately woke up at the sound of his voice. Spencer was finally awake with his eyes fluttering. “Spence.” You got up and began to pepper kisses all over his face. Your arms lightly wrapped around his waist. “Oh god Spencer. I love you. You idiot.” You lightly tapped his chest wary of his possible injuries. “I’m sorry. I love you. A-And I heard what you said.” Your eyes went wide and your cheeks turned a violent red. You silently laid next to him and cuddled not speaking any words just reassuring him you were there and wouldn’t leave. It seems you had fallen asleep even though you weren’t necessarily physically tired. </p><p>CLICK </p><p>“Y/N is gonna kill you.” </p><p>“Shut up you're gonna wake them.”</p><p> </p><p>You felt rustling beside you and you opened your eyes. Derek was holding a phone and some of the team was behind him. </p><p>“Derek. Give me the phone.” He slowly walked toward the door and you got up. Tackling him to the ground and ripping his phone out of his hands. You went into to photos and deleted it before giving it to him. “God Y/N you didn’t have to tackle me.” Derek said rubbing his side. You gave him a smirk and looked over to Spencer, who had woken up during the commotion. Spencer gave you two a smile and tried to sit up groaning in the process. You moved to his side and helped him up. When you realized the team was looking at you, your face went red. Then you realized you had never explained what you said. “Um so it’s really long story. We started dating a couple months ago. But we got in a fight and we took a break. I wasn’t really thinking when I said I was his girlfriend. But I’d like to think we’re back together.” Spencer nodded beside you and grabbed your hand. The team looked around and shrugged. Though the only one that seemed to really care was JJ. You knew she’s always had a things for Spencer. JJ looked down and you walked over to her giving her a big hug. She returned it and said “I’m sorry I don’t want to impede between you.” </p><p>“JJ never be sorry for caring. I know how you’re feeling. You’re gonna find someone I swear to you.” You whispered in her ear making sure no one could hear what you were saying. She nodded and you kissed her cheek. You had a crush on her for a while till you learned she was straight and you knew how amazing she was. The team had started talking to Spencer and you took that as your chance to get some food and a shower in the bathroom inside Spencer’s private room. Thankfully you had a to go bag in your car. You went to the cafe across the hospital eating a sandwich and chips, but quickly headed back not wanting to be away for long. Most of the team had gone home so you rushed to take a shower. Spencer was awake talking with Derek when you got out. You were glad the team were such kind people who would help Spencer through this. </p><p>“So have you guys been using protection.” Derek wiggled his eyebrows and the both of you blushed. “Shut up Derek.” Spencer raised his arm and gave his shoulder a slight push. “If you weren’t injured kid I’d beat your ass.” Spencer rolled his eyes and you all burst out laughing. Time passed by horribly slow as you sat around talking to Spencer. You just wanted to go home with him but you knew he was to spend at least another week at the hospital. </p><p>Spencer convinced you to go home but you couldn’t stand being alone. So you invited Penny over to sleep over. The night was filled with wine, popcorn, and movies. It had been awhile since the two of you had a sleepover and it felt nice having a break. You had to work the next day and had called the doctor to make sure Spence didn’t need you. Hotch made you stay in headquarters and help Garcia. You tried to be angry but thanked him because for your own health you weren’t ready to be in the field. By the end of the week it had been solved. Which was because the Unsub had written a letter and purposefully left his full name. He had finished his “mission” which included killing 4 of his abusers. It was cases like that, that sometimes made you have sympathy for the unsubs. But he killed 4 people who could have been brought to justice. But the justice system sometimes never brought justice. </p><p>You called Spencer and you both decided it was best that you stayed home. Though it took some convincing for you to not spend the night at the hospital, you enjoyed having a warm bath with nothing and no one to bother you. After enjoying yourself you found yourself trying to sleep. Your eyes just about closed when you got a phone call. You didn’t bother to look at the caller ID. <br/>“Y/LN” Your voice gave off an annoyed tone. “Y/N can you come back?” You recognized Spencer’s voice and sat straight up moving to change into a more appropriate outfit. “Spencer are you ok?” The phone was on speaker as you rushed around your room changing and packing a bag. “I-i just need you please.” His voice seemed small and he sounded like he was crying. You weren’t sure if he had any drugs on him so you rushed to get to him. “Can you stay on the phone with me Spencer?” He gave you a small yes and became silent. As you were in traffic you began asking dumb questions to keep him talking. Questions like…. </p><p>“How many people live in D.C?” </p><p>“What is the distance between the moon and the sun?” </p><p>“Do you know what Moby Dick is?” That question kept him talking pretty much till you got there. Him rambling on about the meaning and random facts. You reached the front desk and were about to go past till a short young lady came up to you. “Visiting hours are over you can not go up there.” You gave her your imitation of the Hotch stare and flashed your badge. Sure you weren’t technically on FBI business but close enough. Once she let you past you rushed to his room. </p><p>You composed yourself and knocked. Once he opened you hung up your phone and moved into the room. Thankfully it looked like there was no drugs of any kind around. You remember Spencer asking the hospital to give him no drugs unless asked. Spencer closed the door behind you and reached for you. The two of you hugged for a good amount of time then moved to the bed. You wordlessly cuddled him and kissed him. </p><p>“So what happened?” You broke the silence and turned to look him in the eyes. “I just got these really bad urges and I know where they keep it so I was just scared and called you.” He looked down in embarrassment. “Hry Spencer don’t be ashamed. I’m glad you trust me enough to help you.” He nodded than moved to place his head on your chest. You ran your fingers through his hair and gave him reassuring phrases. </p><p>Spencer moved up and you cupped your hands on his face. You leaned forward and his lips met yours. His hands found your waist and he pulled you in. You pushed him onto the bed and deepened your kiss. Your legs were on either side of his legs and you could already feel his hard on. Unintentionally you slightly grinded on him and he let out a loud groan. You smirked against his lips and began grinding your pussy on his dick. Slightly curious if you could make him cum in his underwear. You took of your shirt and bra then helped him out of his hospital gown. In all his beauty with a painfully horny look on his face. Your lips trailed down his body until you reached his hard member. </p><p>You took off his underwear and began bobbing your head on his dick. He began thrusting into your mouth and you held down his hips. Most likely leaving small bruises. His moans sounded like music to your ears. You licked his head and slurped up his sweet precum. When he reached his climax he exploded cum into your mouth. You jumped off the bed and took off your pants not before making sure the door was locked. Once you took off all your clothes he stared at you. You slightly wrapped your hands around your body, self conscious over your figure. He bit his lip and you gained back your confidence. </p><p>You lined his dick to your entrance and you slid down. He groaned as his long and thick dick was wrapped by your walls. When you were used to his size you began moving. It wasn’t long until you came. “Shit Y/N I’m gonna cum.” You allowed for him to cum in you. Slowly you got off of him and grabbed don of his shirts from your bag that you had stolen from his closet. He pulled on some basketball shorts you brought him and you laid under the sheets. </p><p>“So.” </p><p>“So.” You went into a fit of giggles and he joined in. “I’m not gonna lie Spencie I wasn’t expecting that big of a dick.” He gave you a look and lightly gave you a push. “I wasn’t expecting that tight of a pussy.” You lightly blushed and hid your head in the crook of his neck. </p><p>“Shit I didn’t use a condom.” He shot up and looked at you. “I guess this is a good time to say I have a very very low chance of having kids. Like i’m not completely infertile but its a low chance.” </p><p>“Oh ok thats fine.” He nodded and laid back down. You were shocked but happy that he didn’t linger on the topic. The two of you fell asleep in each other’s arms. </p><p>bring bring bring…. bring bring bring </p><p>You groaned and looked over to your phone. SHIT! It was Hotch. </p><p>“Sorry Hotch Spencer called me over last night to help him out and I totally forgot to set my alarm.” He gave you a small chuckle and you smiled. </p><p>“Don’t worry I was just calling to make sure you were ok. I figured you were with him.” </p><p>“Thanks Hotch. I’ll be over as soon as I can.” </p><p>“Ok hurry on over we have a lot of paperwork from that last case.” </p><p>“Alrighty I’ll be there in like a half hour see ya!” You hung up and immediately went to the bathroom and took a quick shower. Then you changed into work appropriate clothes. You noticed Spencer was ok and looking glum. </p><p>“Hey Spencie how about we ask the front desk if I can take to work with me.” He gave you a smile and changed into his work clothes. Thankfully the front desk said it was ok since he wouldn’t be near any drugs and had FBI agents all around him. The two of you rushed off and were in HQ in no time. </p><p>The team was surprised but happy that he was looking good and was at work. He spent most of the time with the team while you were in your office working away. You didn’t really mind and were glad he was talking to someone other than you. Spencer met up with you at lunch and you went out with him to the little diner nearby. It was the end of the day and you went to the hospital. Apparently they thought it was ok for him to go home. Finally you were able to take him home. </p><p>When you arrived you made dinner then went to bed. The two of you were tired but not so tired that you couldn’t give him a VERY warm welcome.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. THIS IS IT</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I had lots of fun writing this little story. And I hope you enjoyed reading it. Sorry if it feels rushed I'm still trying to improve my writing skills but I hope ya'll liked it. Always feel free to give me feedback and whatnot. Don't forget to kudos and comment. And look forward to a possible oneshot book coming soon!!!!!!</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>How are you? Thank you for all the hits and kudos. Hopefully you all are enjoying this so far. If you have suggestions or cometary feel free to leave in the comments!</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>